Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to bcfcforum.co.uk. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Question For The Girls?; Sorry, Im bored at work!
Topic Started: Jan 24 2006, 04:38 PM (315 Views)
Bookemdanno
Member Avatar
Alex Govan
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Do you know what the offside rule is?






;)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
krokid
KRO
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Get back to work you lazy git.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
BlooNose
Frank Worthington
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
:lol: :lol:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Evo_paul
Member Avatar
Dele Adebola
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
I heard it was when a player ran off either side of the pitch?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
blueytkid7
Martin Grainger
[ *  *  * ]
to explain it for the ladies the offside rule is like this------------

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and,
*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.


----and that ladies is offside



Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
mr penguin
Sponsored by Flybe.com
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Bookemdanno
Jan 24 2006, 04:38 PM
Do you know what the offside rule is?






;)

Does anybody these days ? All this first-phase, second-phase b*llox mystifies me.

Funny thing I understood the offside rule when I was six years old. Thirty odd years later and FIFA have made it so complicated that I've given up trying to understand it.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
mr penguin
Sponsored by Flybe.com
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
blueytkid7
Jan 24 2006, 04:51 PM
to explain it for the ladies the offside rule is like this------------

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and,
*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.


----and that ladies is offside

:lol:

doesn't it depend on whether she is interferring with pay ?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
BlooNose
Frank Worthington
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
blueytkid7
Jan 24 2006, 04:51 PM
to explain it for the ladies the offside rule is like this------------

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and,
*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.


----and that ladies is offside

:lol: :lol: how long did that take..?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Bookemdanno
Member Avatar
Alex Govan
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
blueytkid7
Jan 24 2006, 04:51 PM
to explain it for the ladies the offside rule is like this------------

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and,
*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.


----and that ladies is offside

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dr.nick
Member Avatar
Trevor Francis
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
blueytkid7
Jan 24 2006, 04:51 PM
to explain it for the ladies the offside rule is like this------------

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and,
*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.


----and that ladies is offside

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Shaneo
Ian Bennett
[ *  *  *  * ]
blueytkid7
Jan 24 2006, 04:51 PM
to explain it for the ladies the offside rule is like this------------

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and,
*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.


----and that ladies is offside

Thats that in a nutshell :blink:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
jassyblue80
Member Avatar
Trevor Francis
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
brave man with the amount of women who come on here ;)

funny though :lol:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
BluenoseMo
Johnny Vincent
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I've seen it before - and the man who showed it to me is still in hospital! :angry:

Mo
x
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
jassyblue80
Member Avatar
Trevor Francis
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
BluenoseMo
Jan 24 2006, 08:12 PM
I've seen it before - and the man who showed it to me is still in hospital! :angry:

Mo
x

:lol:

i can only imagine mo ;)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
proccy_blues
Joe Bradford
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
blueytkid7
Jan 24 2006, 04:51 PM
to explain it for the ladies the offside rule is like this------------

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and,
*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.


----and that ladies is offside

:lol: :lol: :lol:

thats clinched the "january funniest post" prize for me - soz girls, but its so funny :D
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Blue16
Malcom Page
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
:lol: :lol: :D
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
StAndrews4Eva
Member Avatar
Gil Merrick
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Bookemdanno
Jan 24 2006, 04:38 PM
Do you know what the offside rule is?






;)

Do you like having all your limbs attached to your body? :huh:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
proccy_blues
Joe Bradford
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
StAndrews4Eva
Jan 25 2006, 09:04 AM
Bookemdanno
Jan 24 2006, 04:38 PM
Do you know what the offside rule is?






;)

Do you like having all your limbs attached to your body? :huh:

is that 1st or 2nd phase limbs removal? :D
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
xZulubabex
Member Avatar
Geoff Horsfield
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
I bet we know more about the offside than most blokes.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
StAndrews4Eva
Member Avatar
Gil Merrick
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Proccy
Jan 25 2006, 09:09 AM
StAndrews4Eva
Jan 25 2006, 09:04 AM
Bookemdanno
Jan 24 2006, 04:38 PM
Do you know what the offside rule is?






;)

Do you like having all your limbs attached to your body? :huh:

is that 1st or 2nd phase limbs removal? :D

All limbs if he carry's on being a cheeky little sh!tebag ;)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dr.nick
Member Avatar
Trevor Francis
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
xZulubabex
Jan 25 2006, 01:08 PM
I bet we know more about the offside than most blokes.

keep it clean zulu. ;) :lol:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Bookemdanno
Member Avatar
Alex Govan
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
StAndrews4Eva
Jan 25 2006, 01:10 PM
Proccy
Jan 25 2006, 09:09 AM
StAndrews4Eva
Jan 25 2006, 09:04 AM
Bookemdanno
Jan 24 2006, 04:38 PM
Do you know what the offside rule is?






;)

Do you like having all your limbs attached to your body? :huh:

is that 1st or 2nd phase limbs removal? :D

All limbs if he carry's on being a cheeky little sh!tebag ;)

Less of the little!

Please. ;)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
StAndrews4Eva
Member Avatar
Gil Merrick
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Bookemdanno
Jan 25 2006, 03:33 PM
StAndrews4Eva
Jan 25 2006, 01:10 PM
Proccy
Jan 25 2006, 09:09 AM
StAndrews4Eva
Jan 25 2006, 09:04 AM
Bookemdanno
Jan 24 2006, 04:38 PM
Do you know what the offside rule is?






;)

Do you like having all your limbs attached to your body? :huh:

is that 1st or 2nd phase limbs removal? :D

All limbs if he carry's on being a cheeky little sh!tebag ;)

Less of the little!

Please. ;)

Ok, big sh!tebag ;)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
k-bek
Member Avatar
Mikael Forssell
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
I do.

I know the offside rule.

I also didn't think it needed changing to this 'is he active or isn't he' nonesence either.

Simple, if you're level or behind the last defender you're on. If not you're off.

The interfearing with play bit USED to make sense till the men at FIFA tried to simplify it because men can't multi task. Linesmen can't carrry flags and watch the game at the same time.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
keepriteon10
Member Avatar
Peter Enckelman
[ *  *  * ]
xZulubabex
Jan 25 2006, 01:08 PM
I bet we know more about the offside than most blokes.

i agree!!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · General Chat · Next Topic »
Add Reply

Forum Design by Hirsty.