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Matt, James And The Suit; brilliant
Topic Started: Aug 3 2006, 01:08 PM (88 Views)
CarrotBlu
Unregistered

Two builders (Matt and James) are seated either side of a table
in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters,
orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the
suit...

Matt: - I reckon he's an accountant.
James: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Matt: - He ain't no stockbroker ! A stockbroker wouldn't come in
here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
gets the better of Matt and he makes for the toilet.

On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...


Matt: - Scuse me... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering
what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken ! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!

Matt: - Oh! What's that then ?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at
home?

Matt: - Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in
a pond. Which is it?

Matt: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large
garden then?

Matt: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you
have a large garden then you have a large house?

Matt: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it
myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is
logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and
that you are quite probably married?

Matt: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually
active with your wife on a regular basis?

Matt: - Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not
masturbate very often?

Matt: - Me? Never

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Matt: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told
you about your sex life !

Matt: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!


Both leave the toilet and Matt returns to his mate.


James: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he
does?

Matt: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

James: - What's that then?

Matt: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

James: - Nope

Matt: - Well then, you're a w*nker.




:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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StAndrews4Eva
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Gil Merrick
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
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OxfordBlues
David Langan
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That's very funny! I'm having a rubbish day and that's the first thing that has made me smile all day :D
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bcfc06
Paul Tait
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:lol: :lol: quality
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hootanany
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Mikael Forssell
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**thumbup **thumbup **thumbup **thumbup Super i like it
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Woodbine
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Mikael Forssell
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Great joke! Heard it some years ago but forgotten it. Thanks for the reminder. **thumbup
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